Through Cultural Gender-Based Practices, Women Often Uphold Misogyny
I often cite how my first clinical experience contributed to my commitment to unraveling cultural practices and beliefs that have adverse effects on health. A story I like to tell is about how an unassuming bed bath unfolded into a revelation that left the nursing team astounded.
We were introduced to a young girl, her body silently bearing the scars of a practice we had yet to comprehend - breast ironing. As she confided in us, the tale unfolded like a haunting melody of cultural tradition gone awry. In her community, breast ironing was deemed a necessary rite of passage, an attempt to protect young girls from the unwanted attention and advances of men. A practice rooted in fear and misguided protection, it involved using hot objects, such as stones or spatulas, to press and massage a girl's developing breasts, with the misguided belief that it would suppress their growth and preserve their innocence.
While exploring cultural practices like breast ironing that caused significant harm to individuals' health, my interest grew in understanding why these practices were still widely accepted and passed down through generations.
As I delved into extensive research on these practices and gathered relevant information, I stumbled upon a disturbing but overlooked revelation: older women in communities and families often advocate for and carry out these harmful practices on younger girls.
Research conducted on the roles of older women in contesting norms associated with FGM showed, "Rather than resisting change, we find that some older women express an openness to reassessing norms and practices as they seek solutions to maintaining the physical well-being, moral integrity and cultural identity of girls in their families".
This unsettling realization, which I refer to as "gaslighting misogyny" in GenZ parlance, exposes a twisted reality where society manipulates women into believing they deserve practices that harm them while also entrusting them with the responsibility of preserving these harmful beliefs.
This concept extends beyond gender-based practices. Older women play roles in upholding misogynistic practices across various aspects of womanhood, from marriage to societal roles.
Once my brothers' friends visited, and my mother insisted that my sister and I remain in our rooms if she was away. At the time, it felt rather unfair that they got to play as much as they wanted, but we had to be confined to our rooms. My mother believed the only way she could truly protect us was to steer us away by momentarily depriving us of fun and freedom as children.
Reflecting on her actions, I understand that her reasons could be explored in two ways: internalized generational misogyny on the part of the women and the men.
Internalized misogyny has allowed society to push the blame away from the aggressors and unto the women, such that the women now become responsible for protecting themselves from the aggressors when ideally, the aggressors should be the primary focus when it comes to taking the blame, which is why instead of my brothers' friends upholding proper conduct around us, we are the ones to hide away, just in case anything goes wrong.
The concept of internalized misogyny explores women's roles in perpetuating it, understanding the underlying reasons behind their actions, and unravels the deep-rooted effects of this internalized societal poison in the subsequent paragraphs.
Misogyny, as I discovered in Berit Brogard's essay, Female Misogyny: Women Who Hate Women, can be categorized into two main types: hatred-based and contempt-based misogyny. Hatred-based misogyny revolves around the societal construct of feminine perfection, targeting women who deviate too much from this idealized image.
On the other hand, contemptuous misogynists view women's choices as limited by their biological nature, considering them inherently inferior due to their femininity. These perspectives stem from ingrained cultural norms that associate the female body with impurity and shame, perpetuating the belief in women's inherent inferiority.
These expectations, beliefs, and ideals become deeply entrenched cultural and religious values passed down through generations. As individuals moulded by society, women internalize these prevailing ideologies. They inadvertently create circumstances that reinforce the perceived need for misogynistic practices, all under the guise of "protecting" the girl child. Consequently, the line between the oppressed and the oppressor becomes blurred.
One story I came across resonated deeply with me. Adaora's experience with breast ironing highlights two crucial aspects: the reason why breast ironing was deemed "necessary" and the person who advocated for and carried out the practice.
Adaora recounted, "There were men everywhere. I never really noticed them until I realized they noticed me. But they didn't look at my face. They looked at my body. I was 8, only in primary three, but I was no longer a stranger to the gaze of men. And my mother noticed it too."
From her story, you can see that she underwent breast ironing because she developed early and attracted male attention. This represents the initial stage of internalized misogyny, where the oppressor implants the idea that a woman's biological or personal attributes are her fault and her responsibility to compensate for.
Subsequently, practices are imposed to curtail these attributes, and due to the oppressor's portrayal of these attributes as potential reasons to cause harm to women, the ideas manifest, and women uphold these oppressive practices in a misguided attempt to "protect" themselves.
Another critical aspect that centres around older women's role in perpetuating these practices. They act as gatekeepers, passing down harmful traditions and beliefs as a rite of passage or protection. Sociologist Bell Hooks emphasizes the cyclical nature of internalized misogyny, saying that "most women perpetuate patriarchal models of femininity, even as they enact feminine critiques of the same." These women, shaped by the same oppressive system, inadvertently cause harm while attempting to conform to societal norms.
In a poignant account, Adaora shared her experience of breast ironing, stating, "She began pressing my developing breasts with hot water and a towel. God, I screamed, cried, and begged, wondering what I did to deserve this punishment. All she said was she didn't want men looking at me."
Acknowledging the impact of social conditioning is crucial to understanding the multifaceted nature of women encouraging misogynistic practices. Often, those who support such practices genuinely believe they are acting in the "best interest" of younger generations. They fear societal rejection, stigmatization, or jeopardizing their chances of acceptance.
As Olutimehin Adegbeye eloquently stated, "Internalized misogyny becomes a subconscious performance, a way to signal that you are a 'good woman'." This complex web traps women in perpetuating harmful practices built upon deeply ingrained notions of femininity and societal expectations.
If we are to dismantle the cycle of misogyny, it is vital to address the root causes and engage in education and dialogue that challenges these harmful beliefs. Empowering women to recognize their worth and agency while promoting respectful attitudes among men is essential in fostering a society free from gender-based oppression.
The role of women in perpetuating misogyny through harmful cultural practices is a sobering reality that demands attention. It is imperative to unravel this and other layers of internalized misogyny and expose the societal constructs that manipulate and harm women.
By raising awareness, fostering critical thinking, and promoting equality, we can strive towards a future where all individuals, regardless of gender, can thrive in a society that respects and values their autonomy and well-being. We must collectively work towards dismantling these harmful practices and nurturing a culture of inclusivity, empowerment, and gender justice.